Friday, December 19, 2008

Up late and nothing else to do .... so you get this

Well last night and now tonight too, I'm having trouble sleeping. Usually this happens to me around once a year or so when something is on my mind, like buying a new house, getting a new job, figuring out what to blog about ... okay maybe I don't take this blog that seriously right?

There has been some stuff happening at work that is nice so I thought I'd write about that and see where it goes. I did recently get a new job, still a computer geek but still, I really like the place. The people are friendly and the users for which I support their applications genuinely seem to appreciate having a developer that gives a rip about them getting their stuff and having it done right.

See in all honestly, I'm the anti-geek (not uncle geek, anti). Most geeks are stereotyped as techno-babbly snobs that don't care about anybody except the computer or computer code in front of them. And tis true, there are a lot of them out there. I like to think I'm not like that; while still being all geeky enough for my friends. Although if you know me well you also know I can go a tad overboard in the opposite direction and almost appear "clingy" with my attentions but I'm really not that way either. Sometimes it just takes me some time to find my balance. You'll give me a chance right? Pretty pweez? There's a good blog reader, I appreciate you! :)

So basically I'm saying, I'm one of those enigmas wrapped up in some techno-mystery-wrapping paper, all bound up with a conundrum ribbon. :)

But getting back to the office, here is another point. Life as they say is all about relationships and a great deal to relationships is communication. Honest and for true it is. Whether you're making a new friend and learning to communicate with them, or learning to communicate in an office where you're the new guy or gal, the foundation of a good lasting relationship is all about communication.

And see I suck at that. Or at least I think I do. On my performance reviews, I get gold stars, basically, for communication in the office. Aren't you jealous? Nobody does it better than me, or so they say, either written or orally (shush with the jokes there). But clearly I'm in complete disagreement with them on that fact.

So what do you do if you're not a good communicator though? Not being a good one, I have an answer for that question :) Honestly you just need practice. Well that, and good friends/workers to be patient with your dorkiness. If say, you are used to IM'ing folks and you're good at that but you dread talking on the phone well then talk more on the phone silly willy. Basically if you feel you're not a good communicator; you just need to get out there and mess up, make mistakes, etc, etc Miss Frizzle.

But now the big question.

What if during the course of your communications training either on the job or off the job, you royally screw up ... and eventually yes you will ... either you said the wrong thing in the heat of the moment or you lost perspective which usually causes you to end up saying "what you're thinking" but not always "what you mean". Thats why grandma always said "look before you leap". Wise lady she was.

See, words are a powerful, powerful thing. So when you mess up, say you're sorry. Do it sincerely and don't mix in a lot of story-telling with it. Basically don't ramble on like me. :) What needs to happen is that you need to somehow show the person that you realize you goofed, but that you can still be trusted, that you're still the same guy or gal, that they started communicating with.

For instance let's say you messed up on Dec 18th, but Dec 17th was a VERY good day. So maybe you go to your friend/co-worker and throw yourself at their proverbial feet, begging that at least part of Dec 18 be stricken from your friendship/co-worker record and humbly ask, very humbly I might point out, to go back to good ol' comfy Dec 17th and start again. You have my permission to copy this paragraph and use it for your own if you needs it ;) Let me know if it works for you.

And finally, if you feel like you've "lost ground" make sure you know where you stand if you are so fortunate to be forgiven for messing up.

So this is all very very important in friendships, marriages (and yes those are friendships too or it better be if you want it to last), and everywhere else. Yes, even in the office.

Communication is constant work too. Especially in personal relationships. My wife and I have had our share of those issues (I take all the blame honey) ... see I've been married awhile :) I wouldn't trade her for anybody, certainly am not looking for anybody else either, and if anything happened to her, I'd be totally and utterly adrift; lost. Now see, that right there was communication on many different levels.

If my lovely wife reads this, she'll know what I mean and probably cry .. sigh .. its an affect I have on her. But I'm also betting that those other countless masses out there that hang on my every word will get some meaning from that too. Or you should at least.

Ok, I think I can sleep now. Catch me tomorrow after I wake up and we can hash this all out; just form the usual line at my inbox or IM me :) Remember, I'm always here but not always paying attention .. but that's another blog entry for another sleepless night.

Signing off at 2:22am CST .. sheesh .. let me get some sleep will ya?

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