NaNoWriMo: Giving it a go ...

For those of you who may not be aware, this month is National Write a Novel in a Month. Here is the link to the super-official spectacular website.

NaNoWriMo

The goal is to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days and 30 nights. I with some of my other blog-buddies have taken up the challenge. The idea of writing a novel, of pushing through that process, has always intrigued me. So off I go to write and see what comes of it all.

Though I'm more than slightly certain this won't be the "next big bestseller", for me, this is all about the process and the thrill of finishing what I've set out to do.

I have no plan. Very unlike me. I'm going to write a pure stream of thought and treat this journey as though I'm driving from point A to point B which is only 50,000 words away.

So yeah, it'll probably suck :) But I intend to have fun with it. Wish me luck!

One Night Inn Baymont OR The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Hortons

So this past weekend I got to spend some time with my lovely wife; just me and her. After 14 years of marriage we spent our first night away from our son Josh.

More on that in a moment.

Heather had a class reunion of sorts, in Iowa, to attend and dragged me along and kindly asked me if I would go with her saying we needed to get our freak on in a major way during our night away spend some quality time together. I happily agreed being the adorable husband that I am.

As stated, Iowa is where we were headed. This is a 5 ½ hour trip, 6 ½ hours (or more) with a pregnant woman. I made the trip in 5 hours flat. Hey we had “plans” right? [waggles eyebrows]

So we arrived at the Baymont Hotel. Very nice place we found online. We are not exactly globetrotters we Hortons, preferring mainly to stay in our hollow with our cats, our weapons, our food stores, and our giant, human-consuming-canine.


So seeing as how we found a deal on a really nice hotel, we were quite proud.


So after we arrived at the hotel we scouted the place for amenities cause everything is always different in real life than it sounds when you read about it online. The place was nice though. Very good rooms, free high-speed internet, the works. And no I’m not tossing out the innuendos here but omg the beds were amazing .. I told Heather I wanted to take one of them home. Super comfy beds. Baymont, my well-rested backside salutes your choice in sleep furnishings!

So after we unpacked, we didn’t immediately get ready to leave the room again, we didn’t watch TV, we didn’t do crossword puzzles, we didn’t catch up on the news or anything of that nature. Ahem, THERE was your innuendo.

Soon however it was time for the other festivities and we did get ready and left for the restaurant. It was just a short drive from the hotel. And it was Mexican food, which is all I knew we were having. I was very much looking forward to some traditional Mexican vittles. Just the names, the sounds of the words made me hungry.

So we pulled up to a little place called Carlos O’Kelly’s??!?! HUH?


I immediately nearly fell down laughing in the parking lot. Making all kinds of jokes about “they’re always after me lucky burrito” whilst at the same time likely causing my bride to wonder at how the evening was really going to go. I mean here I am, her trophy husband, and I’ve essentially collapsed into hysterics upon seeing the sign of the restaurant. She had to be nervous.

I pulled it together though. Until we reached the gigantic entry doors which were painted shamrock green .. laughing I turned to Heather and said, “if the servers in here are wee folk, you’re on your own, I’ll wait in the truck”. You don’t get a husband much more quirky more understanding and supportive than me.

So we get in there, do the meet-n-greet. Friends and neighbors, I’m not very good with strangers. Don’t expect me to hold the conversation together k? I’m THAT guy. I can talk and be cordial, no problems there but I’m not the go-to-guy when you’re looking for someone keep things rolling.

So I was nervous. Always am in a situation where I don’t know anybody. How very unmanly of me you say? Bite me I retort.

Without dragging you through the entire evening, let me just say it went quite well. I found, as I always do, someone where I can attach my sense of humor to theirs and relate to them. So I had a good time. Was it the most awesome of all times to be had or that I’d ever had? Um, heck no. But you do things for your spouse that you normally would not do for most others. That’s part of marriage. The important part to me was that my wife got the support she needed so she wouldn’t be there alone, that she got to reminisce with old friends, reconnect and generally have a great evening.

And she did. So I did good – and that folks is what being a husband is all about. Learn it, live it, love it.

So our evening ended, we said our goodbyes .. I nearly left our new camera behind but someone there saved me from being a total dork and pointed it out to me. (Thanks Shawn).

On our short drive back to the hotel we stopped to pick up Tylenol. I had a stress headache from “keeping up the shields” for 3 hours or so. Maybe that sounds odd to you all but its how I am. I’m very watchful. And a sustained effort at social interaction of which I’m not accustomed takes its toll. I’m a nerd what can I say?

We decided we cap off our frivolity by taking in one of those new fangled moving pictures you hear so much about these days. “The Proposal” was playing. So we zipped in to the parking lot, hopped out of the truck and I promptly locked my keys in it.

Sigh.

Movie plans cancelled.

Now we had to contact a towing service to come rescue me, The Duke of Dorkshire.

About 40 mins later, what appeared to be a tiny, under-aged driver shows up. Fantastic. I was to be rescued by someone who made Doogie Howser look like Moses. I’m getting old. After about 5-10 minutes Tom Thumb jimmies the lock on my truck and forces me to pay politely robs me charges me $53 for the indignity of having a school-boy rescue my old arse. Good times. When can we get together again Tiny Tim?

So by now it’s getting late. We skipped the movie having no real desire to spend even more money at this point. Besides, I had my laptop back in our room and we could stream movies from Netflix for free. Back to the hotel it was for us then.

So we stayed up talking, eating some late-night (overpriced) pizza, and talking. Soon it was time to turn in. And there was an odd feeling to that. It was, as stated, our first night away from Josh. We called him on our webcam to talk for a bit. And that made things easier. But it still wasn’t the same.

It’s weird being away from your kid for the first time. Possibly harder when they are older and it’s the first time. We are rarely apart.

Yeah laugh if you like, about this being our first night apart, but we’re sort of that way about family. We do everything as a group and rarely do we part ways. Some may view that as unhealthy or whatnot but it’s worked out very well for us.

We’re an “I love you” kind of family. Often we reinforce it by saying “I love you” even when someone is just leaving the room. Not all the time mind you but it’s not uncommon. Reminding folks around you that you love them isn’t a bad thing after all.

So I have to admit it was odd to be going to bed without two cats, a dog and a 13 year old son about the house, making racket. The normal bedtime noises were gone. The beds were super-comfy though and it was good to know, having talked to Josh and saw his face that things were ok. It’s not like we sat there and wrung our hands with worry.

So all in all, it was a good time. We had fun. It was great to have some adults-only time. Talk about everything on a 5 hour drive (each way). We got to stop to do some shopping on the way home for Thing Two even.

So. Good trip.

A good time was had by all.

Successful mission, family.

Next time though, we won’t wait so long to try this.

The Dog Singer .. OR .. Possessed by Dr Seuss

This blog post is being written mainly in an attempt, and a wildly successful one I might add, to avoid cleaning the kitchen just a bit longer.

I do silly things. It’s kind of what makes me, me. Everybody that knows me knows that about me. If you didn’t know that well, now you do.

I blame Dr Seuss and my inability to socialize as a kid the fact that my mom has a very odd sense of humor too. Dr Seuss books were huge with me when I was growing up. I read them voraciously as I was learning to dance the spears through the syllables of the rhythm of the words. Honestly I had no chance at being normal; so if you found that last sentence a tad odd, this is not my fault people.

Being a huge Dr Seuss fan, naturally I think that led to me liking Jim Varney as a I grew up. I mean clearly you can see the connection there right? Let me just say too, that the fact we now live in a world where there is no Ernest P. Worrell character anymore just flat out suck eggs.

Which brings me to the whole point of my post this morning.

Spending time with my dog.

No really. I’ll make it all make sense, promise. Keep riding the ride, the rollercoaster is fun honest.

See I talk to our puppy all the time. And sometimes I make up little sing-song stuff. Like I said this isnt’t my fault. Clearly I’m a victim here of Dr Seuss weirdness.

So this morning I was out playing ball with the dog as is our morning ritual on the weekends. And the song that Ernest sang in Ernest Saves Christmas suddenly came to me. What was funny about the song, still making me laugh to this day, is that Ernest didn’t know all the words to the song Oh Tannenbaum. So he just sang the words "oh Christmas tree" over and over but to the tune of the song. And it fits! I remember laughing till I cried.

To wrap this up, I started singing that song while flinging the ball for the dog. Absurd right? I mean it’s hot, muggy, summertime in the mid-west and I’m throwing a ball for a German Shepherd Dog while singing Christmas songs.

And suddenly while singing “Oh Christmas Tree” and laughing my butt off, I realized that “Oh Puppy Dog” fits too. So the words changed. Plus it got funnier for me too.

Yeah sometimes its a hoot to ride the roller coaster see?

Ok you might think this post is going nowhere fast but let me use my odd powers of viewing reality to make this make some sense.

They say that God gives gifts to each of us to help others out and sometimes those gifts are to help ourselves out with life’s issues. More than once, my odd view of things has helped me through difficult situations.

Now I’m not sure it’s ever contributed to the betterment of anyone else’s life. I hope it has. However, I’m glad I have it even if it's only meant to help me get through the day. I’d lost my quirkiness there for awhile honestly, and I posted about how a friend of mine helped me find it again. The post is here if you'd like to read it. I’m glad for that person and glad to have my oddness back.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a kitchen to clean and an itty-bitty 95lb dog to sing to …

“Oh puppy dog, oh puppy dog, oh puppy dog, oh puppy dog ….”

Saturday: A rare spawn weekend post

Ok this was just like any other Saturday morning. I woke up to, play outside with the girl, clean the kitchen, and fix breakfast for a sleeping family. One thing was different. I haven't had a substantial amount of sugar, probably less than 2g per day, in over 2 weeks now.

The kitchen was full of yummy left over goodness from Heather's cake-baking class yesterday for Co-op.

God help me but that was hard to ignore. But I was good.

Not one finger sampling of anything did I take. Even though I felt that automatic reaction at times to reach out and have a little sumthin' sumthin'.

So I'm not writing this to brag or cry about anything either. I guess I'm just logging this here for me. That way I can look it over this next coming week during the last leg of this little no-sugar/flour marathon I'm running.

And now back to my bacon and eggs (with Sriracha sauce), washing it all down with a tall glass of ice-water.

Blades of Glory

Ok I'm watching this movie as I blog and I love it. This is definitely my brand of "check your brain at the door" humor. I've heard lots of people say that they hate this movie but I submit to you that they just don't "get it".

Will Ferrell is a very funny guy and John Heder (of Napoleon Dynamite fame) working alongside him is also very good. Coupled with the fact that these two are playing men's figure skaters who get banned from the sport, then find a loophole so they can skate in the pairs competition; just adds a level of awkwardness that makes this laugh out loud funny.

My first big laugh was at their names though. Chas Michael Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy ... just perfectly funny :) Its especially funny when you hear the announcer call out their names during competition.

Okay scratch that, my FIRST big laugh was when Will Ferrell's character was introduced as "an ice devouring sex tornado", hahahaha!

There are already several parts in the movie where I'm laughing so hard I missed the next minute or so. The most recent is this. Will Ferrell is explaining his hair care techniques to John Heder and is bragging on this unbelieveably expensive brush he has, right? And he says, "I couldn't love a human baby as much as I love this brush."

I'm a big Will Ferrell fan and I guess today maybe I need an extra laugh or was just in the mood for this style of humor. But so far I'm loving Blades of Glory. I do maintain that Anchorman and Talladehga Nights are my favorite Ferrell flicks though but this is going to be number three at worst.