Wistful Wednesday (a little early): Reflection

As I blog the crap out of this post ... I'm sitting on my spacious deck that I built, overlooking the back 8 acres of our land, listening to the hum of the pool to which I connected our deck - typing away on a "new to me" laptop and connected to my amazing wireless internet connection - listening to birds chirp, gazing into trees as far as the eye can see and generally just enjoying this little life I've carved out for myself.

It's good to be me. Aren't you jealous?

Only kidding around.

I am really doing all of this and it's all true - this is my life from the land to the deck to the "new to me" laptop - all true, what I said. You see, I am quite fortunate. But I'm not a jerk about it. Therein lies the kidding around part - I try very hard not to be an ass about success.

Rather I do try to be thankful for what I have. Its more than some and not as much as many - and that's generally where I like things in life - right down the middle of the road. I'm not an extreme person. Very hobbit-like as my blog description implies.

Sometimes its good to just sit back and look at what's happened in your life you know? I've said this before and I'll say it again. I had an old mentor once who listed out most of the things I have outlined here - and he asked me - which one of those would you give up for a million dollars? I said "none" .... and he said "right, its a helluva package".

He was right then and his advice rings true now.

Sometimes you just need to sit back for a second, unplug however briefly, from everything and everyone ... and just "look", with amazed detachment, at what you have. What you've earned AND what you've been given.

Without waxing political, and regardless of your affiliation, we still live in what I believe is the greatest nation on Earth. Regardless of the economy this is still the land of opportunity. It's the land of opportunity for *you* where ever you are; regardless of your circumstances. Life is truly what you make of it. Hey I'm a real Hallmark card tonight right?

None of this is Earth-shattering news I realize. I just needed to get a bit of it out. Occasionally I find myself trying too hard, always pushing to do more, expecting more of "me". "I need to be a better "worker" ... "I need to be a better husband, father, friend" ... "I need to work on that project" ... "I need to do this this this" ... all of that, and I'm sure each one reading this has their own "thing" or "things" to worry about just adds up to more worry.

So sometimes, just sometimes I realize it's okay to take a break.

There was a great t-shirt which I used to have that said, "Don't be so serious, it's only life".

Truer words have never been spoken.

Dazed and confuzed

For some time now, years in fact, I've been in the process of taking things "off of the shelf" which I've learned (concerning faith/religion) especially. I do this with everything really in my life, from how my woodshop is arranged to relationships in my life, and I think most folks do the same if they stop to think about it. In my opinion, it's part of just being one of us human-types.

This post is generally about some faith issues. Now for the most part I keep serious matters of faith out of my blog. Just a personal preference really. My readership generally follows the Singleton pattern and I'd like to keep what readers I have :P

That being said I do have a self-observation to make "aloud" here. Today I discovered I'm still very much affected by "religion". And not in a good way. I had ... until today, considered myself a person who is willing to "see the other side", "consider all angles" - pick your buzz phrase. I really thought I had that down. But I'm having trouble.

I was doing some reading and came across some things that I can't reconcile with my religious training - perspectives which I didn't realize were so strong in me. I WANT to see this other viewpoint but I can't work it out it against what I "think" to be true already.

Isn't that odd?

I suppose I've reached a sort of a mental impasse with the thought process I came across. Its a good puzzle though and I'm eager to figure it out. I was just shocked at myself that I couldn't easily adapt and see this other way of thinking immediately.

Don't get me wrong, I don't consider myself some sort of brainiac, instantly adapting to all situations. To know me is to know I'm NOT a brainiac :P

I'll get this worked out though - and when I do I may share it here. And apologies if this blog post seems vague. I just wanted to jot down these feelings before work takes its inevitable hold for the day, lol

See me later!

Wistful Wednesdays: Project prattles

I've not kept up with the blogging of late. Not that I haven't had anything to write about but rather that I just haven't been "feeling it" you know? But I'm gonna hit the days that are most important to me. After all that is pretty much what this blogging action is about, writing what's important in my little life.

The big things going on with me right how are getting back to the shop, in order to make some gifts, doing some house chores, and also I'm helping out with a project for a friend of mine. I won't go into more detail than that since I'm not sure if the whole thing is public knowledge yet. But I will say I'm having an absolute blast! I have all these geeked-out ideas on how to help and I do fear at times that I'm gonna run my buddy off with my trying to help "too much". Sometimes I tend to go overboard when I'm excited and eager to assist with something. I just want to see this endeavor of theirs succeed so badly. Honestly I'm not entirely sure where all that all comes from really.

Sure I want to help my friend but when I was first asked to be a part of their project, I never imagined I'd find this whole deal so exciting and fascinating. That's how this feels to me. Its a huge honor to be included in what's going on and thats where my excitement comes from I suppose. Plus hey, this is my best bud .. what else am I gonna be but excited to help out, right?

Not only do I get to hang out with the coolest friend in the galaxy but I get to watch the creation of something very cool that they are doing, by someone who is really very talented. I couldn't be more proud of my buddy for the sheer work put in on this so far, and I know its been tons. But also I couldn't be more happy to be helping out and donating my geeky talents such as they are. Honestly I can't remember the last time I was this jazzed up about a project of any kind.

I'll never forget getting to be a part of it. It's very darn coolio!

Wistful Wednesdays: A look back ...

Hey just when you think things couldn't get any better they don't.

Everybody calm down, I was only kidding. But of course its hard for things to improve after watching Madagascar 2 the other night. Seeing that and laughing so hard kinda inspired me to write a few lines about one of my favorite subjects. Cartoons/Kid's shows. My friend Jenn blogged about the good ol' shows not long ago. This will kinda be like that.

Loving to make you wait, but not really having the heart to, here is a short list of cartoons and cartoon characters that shaped the weirdness that is me [Bugs Bunny in particular but the whole Looney Tunes cast really, Heckel and Jeckel, Speed Racer, Thundarr the Barbarian, Land of the Lost, Valley of the Dinosaurs, Battle of the Planets (OMG, so cool), Space Ghost, The Flintstones, The Herculoids, Johnny Quest, The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, The Jetsons, Scooby Doo] .. the list continues ...

Let's move shall we? So no, that's not nearly my whole list of favorite shows ever, and I'm sure I missed a bunch of yours, but I could just write down titles all day, not posting anything else. And what fun would that be, hmmmmmm?

Oh these were the shows the shaped my life really. Particularly Bugs Bunny. I remember distinctly identifying with that Wascaly Wabbit, way back on a Saturday morning in my youth, a long, long, long, long, very long, time ago. I don't remember the particular episode. I just remember realizing, hey he really just did something important there that made what he said "more" funny than normal. I was hooked.

Basically the change in me began then. From that Bugs moment on, I started watching shows differently, looking for smart-alecs. Of course when I was young those shows were easy to find. Nowadays you don't really find a lot of toons that compare to the ones we had growing up. Not the newer ones anyway. But there are some really good new shows out there.

Everybody probably already watched this before me. I realize that. I'm no trend setter to be sure. But Avatar the Last Air Bender is very likely the best animated show I've seen since Battle of the Planets really. Now, I was a HUGE fan of G-Force so for me to say Ang and the gang are very cool is big magic. Such a good story though, with excellent characters and great interaction. I haven't watched an episode of that when I wasn't disappointed that it was only a 1/2 hour show.

Laughing at me yet? I think I hear you. At my age, perhaps it is a little odd of me to still like these shows. However I find some comfort that the origins of comic books, cartoons and all that were actually created to get people to dream and to laugh during dark times in our country's history. But maybe I just remember that so I don't have adult guilt for watching kid shows, eh?

Laugh if you will then but I figure its always a good time to dream and have some fun. Why not, right? It's why I can snort/laugh at Spongebob and company ... "You haaaad to kill him. The boy cries you a sweater of tears. And you kill him." That's funny stuff guys and gals. I have to admit I'm a late arrival to Bikini Bottom but there is a lot of funny stuff there to be had. Plus I never ever tire of Plankton. Thus my avatar on gchat.

Anyway, everybody needs a chance to unwind and laugh now and again. Shows like the ones I've listed above help you do that. Maybe they aren't your thing. Maybe they are and you've just forgotten how much fun they were. If you have kids, introduce them immediately to Boomerang and Cartoon Network; SO many good shows on there, particularly the older ones folks my age grew up with. Although I've not yet found any Heckel and Jeckel. I'll keep hoping :)

Wistful Wednesdays: Random Thoughts

Maybe these are questions best asked of the Magic 8 Ball but here they are anyway.

• Work. If I had the option to not do what I do, then in fact what would I choose to do?


• Will we be able to sell our house like we plan and if not, what will change in my life?


• Why is it that there seems to be more trust among people in the “blue collar” world of work than there is in the “white collar” world?


• Why is it that whenever someone asks me to do something at work, they assume I have nothing else going on than to fulfill their request immediately?


• Is everything going to be okay with me being a Dad this next time around?


• The stuff that Josh is going through now, am I being the Dad he needs in his life? Do I need to turn off more things and be even closer to him? I don’t want to smother him either.


• How will I find the time to get the things that need done at home without ignoring my family and friends?


• Am I being a good husband right now? A good father?


• I need to work with our dog more. I just need the “guilt free” time.


• How do you get some “guilt free” time?


• Am I being a good friend?


• I crave sameness. Why do things have to change?


• Balance is a big word and it seems that most of your life is spent trying to get it/maintain it/keep it. For some it’s more elusive than money, bringing more success, and taking more effort.


• Is remembering times that are lost, and perhaps never coming back again, a waste of one’s mind or rather is it a thread of hope, unrelenting which, in the right environment may grow to an unbreakable chain made of the very thing a person thought was gone?


• Sometimes my noggin gets full, compelling me to just sit, staring for a few minutes, until I feel I can process the next thought or feeling.


• Often I wonder .. what’s …next?

Wistful Wednesdays: Circle of Thought

“Some days it’s just not worth knawing through the leather straps” – Unknown

Wow there are days I feel like that. But wait, I’m sounding all negative now. Let me be positive for a moment instead. I’m positive there are days I feel like that! :)

Seriously though. It’s Wistful Wednesday so let’s get to that. So here is some wistfulness wailing from the womb of my misfitishness.

Circle of Thought

Rain.
It makes me think of being quiet and reading.

Reading.
It makes me think of my book club.

Book club.
It makes me think of new friends.

New friends.
They make me think of moving.

Moving.
It makes me think of a new beginning.

New beginning.
It makes me think of being with my friends, spending time.

Spending time.
It makes me think of what we’ll do, what activities.

Activities.
It makes me think sometimes we’ll have just moments of quiet.

Quiet.
It makes me think of reading and rain.

Wistful Wednesdays: Circle of thought

It snowed a lot today.

Snow.
It makes me think of childhood.

Childhood.
It makes me think of carefree days.

Carefree days.
Those make me think of school.

School.
That makes me think of friends.

Friends.
That makes me think I miss them.

Missing them.
That makes me think of fun we had.

Fun.
That makes me think of playing in the snow.

Snow.
It snowed a lot today.

Wistful Wednesdays: Saturday morning Storm

Tis been an odd day full of reflection. I look forward to this time of week though. Wednesday. The day suspended between the last remaining strains of the previous weekend's chorus and the anticipation of a new weekend full of time with the family and just being at home.

Saturday mornings are my favorite mornings now that we have a dog. Storm (our GSD) and I get up early, letting my wife sleep in. I take Storm outside for our own customized game of fetch we’ve invented together. I doubt many others play fetch like Storm and I do but we’re okay with being different. It’s fun for us and I get to do a lot of walking back and forth in the yard, around 1.5 miles by the time we’re done. And “the girl” as I call her gets to run off some early morning energy. During all of this “work” (haha) I get to reflect on the week, where I did well at things and where I think I need to improve. Sometimes I come up with blog ideas too.

Yep Saturday mornings are fantastically quiet moments that resound as a chorus in my soul.

The time with the girl and the wordless communication between “pack leader” and a dog is darn near spiritual. Storm and I have worked out several wordless commands and ways to feel what the other is thinking. Just comes from spending time together and hanging out, I guess. Much like with people I suppose. Dogs pick it up so much faster though and I’ve always had some sort of special rapport with the doggies. And I truly dig that. Storm is mucho coolioso! (There is a new one for ya and you know who you are, lol)

Storm has her issues though. Her mother was taken from her too soon, to go be a rescue dog, and didn’t get to teach Storm her doggy manners as would normally happen. In that I relate to Storm very much, having never had a Dad, in my case, and not having had the opportunity to learn the things a son needs from his father during the formative years. I had to learn those later. Learning later isn’t easy sometimes. Hasn’t been for Storm or I either one. But I suppose most learning worth keeping really isn’t easy. Experience has a way of being a hard teacher at times.

So my times with Storm although limited are very important to me. She tries very hard. Sometimes she gets it all wrong. As her alpha, if you will, I try very hard not to imprint my human emotion on her actions and to instead remember she’s a dog and doesn’t see the world the way I do. It’s my responsibility to reach out to her in her language, doing my best to understand it to the full, all the while requiring her to speak very little of my own.

And Storm is learning. Just like me. And even though we didn’t have the most important people, we needed around, when we each grew up; we’re still both gonna be pretty cool someday. But for today, being cool for each other is enough.

Wistful Wednesdays: Best Friends

Here is a new approach for Wednesdays that I'm going to try and, if it goes well, I'll stick with it as a weekly theme. I've noticed this type of theming on other bloggers sites and this old man is just trying to keep up with the times; have to keep my (like 4) readers happy you know :) I also really really like making notes through the week, having a writing schedule, and then planning/organizing the writing around a preset theme. Theb orderliness is salve to my soul. God I need help, I'm a sick man.

Ok. Blog content time.

Perhaps you're reading this blog and you have a good friend. If so, then fortunate you are. A very good friend is hard to find and a best friend, rare indeed. In this post, hopefully you can get a good bead on what I think of friendships and in particular what I mean when I say someone is my best friend.

First off, my wife is my best friend. No relationship is higher than that and no other friendship is ever, for me, held in comparison to what my wife and I share. Honestly if you're married and reading this your spouse needs to be your best friend too. If they are not, start working on that right away and you'll have a happier marriage quite quickly.

I also have a best friend outside my wife and my wife is very okay with that. A person needs different types of relationships in their life after all. None of us are "one dimensional" in our interactions with the world.

So what is a "best" friend you may ask? Well I'm sure different people have different definitions as it applies to their heart and lives. Personally my own definition has deepened over the years rather than morphed into something else, as in other cases regarding things I believed when I was younger but view differently now that I'm more mature.

In defining a best friend, for me its a person one can completely open up their "life's book" to and that friend never judges you, but rather supports you, encourages you, tells you off when you need to be told off, they listen, you laugh with them, you want to be close to them and they give the same back to you.

Before this gets way to sun-shiny though, and speaking negative/positive rather than feminine/masculine, let's get the "yin" of the situation out of the way first and later we'll move on to the sunnier "yang". You good with that? Well lovely :)

It should not come as a surprise that everything isn't all roses with friendships, even best ones. Its a relationship between two humans after all. And every relationship has its ups and downs with communication, etc. All friendships, like any other relationship, require a certain amount of give and take. Distances, time to talk, etc, all play huge factors in the stressors of a new friendship as well as maintaining older ones.

And fears can plaque friendships too. Some fears that I've had is that I'll lose my best friend status and be replaced. Or that if too much time passes without some really good interaction, my friend will lose interest and quietly, politely eliminate me from their life. Crazy huh? I'm betting though maybe you've felt that way too at times.

So lasting friendships, close friendships, take work. Not all work, sorry to say, is fun. But most work is worth it whether you may see it right now or not and though at times the work of a real friendship is hard it is very much worth it. It can change your life and help make you the man or woman you want to be.

And the encouraging news is that once a good rapport with your buddy is developed, a good solid friendship nearly runs itself. You begin to learn each other's needs/wants and learn "how to be there" when you're needed. And finally, there is a certain amount of innocent acceptance of each other's "comings" and "goings" that really can only be found with a true friend.

Geez I started out with Yin and ended up with a heaping bowl of Yang there. Ah well, let’s look at the positive then and get back to what I think a best friend is after all.

A best friend is actually a kind of love I think. Not the same love necessarily as the "getting married" kind of love although that can be the case. Simply put, and speaking outside of a marriage, a best friend is the person you'd rather spend time with above all other acquaintances and friends you have.

To put a finer point on it, and for me it’s this way, it’s the kind of love you have for a person where you think about them a lot, you wonder how their day is/went, and when you don’t get to talk to or see them everyday ... you feel kind of like a hole starts to form in your life. With me that void is healed or reset every time I get to talk to my best friend. And when we're too busy to really get together like we enjoy doing, that void begins again and grows larger with each passing moment until the next time we meet. Granted I may be the only person on the planet that feels like, or defines it this way, but there you go :)

And with a best friend they are the person you trust completely with anything. It’s the way I feel about my best friend. There isn't anything that I couldn't tell them although some things I admit are easier to talk about than others.

If you have a friend that makes you feel this way, regardless of any negatives, then chances are you have a best friend on your hands.

You should hold onto them and nurture that relationship as I intend to mine.

I'll leave you with these quotes from those far more eloquent than I. These capture, and particularly the last three, how I feel about my best friend and with more rapture than my meager mumblings may ever produce.

Friendship Quotes

But if the while I think on thee, dear friend, All losses are restored and sorrows end. ~William Shakespeare

A friend is the only person you will let into the house when you are Turning Out Drawers. ~Pam Brown

True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable. ~Dave Tyson
Gentry

Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait for the answer. ~Author
Unknown

Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends. ~Virginia Woolf

The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had. ~Author Unknown

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~Albert Schweitzer

A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart. ~Author Unknown

If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me. ~Author Unknown