Monday, March 15, 2010

Clean house ... OR ... What You Want; Baby I Got It!

If you are one of those "super-neat-orderly-households-where-all-things-have-a-place-and-they-are-always-in-it" ...

... you need read no further.

Actually if you're one of THOSE people we probably can't be friends anyway cause my house would drive you nuts.  And in all liklihood you would pester me about cleaning up to the Nth degree, forcing me to do away with you and hide your carcass in one of the neverending places of clutter, either in my garage or basement.  Or perhaps in a nice pile of books in the corner somewhere, eh?  Which would you prefer?  I want you to be cozy in the afterlife you sick-twisted-neat-freak-you.

Ah, but I kid.

Actually I AM that neat freak.  However I have a strong procrastination streak and a long daily commute which most days talks me out of doing much else besides going home and being available to the family.

So at war within me are two sides.  One light and one dark.  One of Good, one of Evil.  The Freak of Neat is in a constant and epic struggle with the Proprietor of Procrastination.  Irresistible object, meet immoveable force.  Sound familiar?

We are however in the process of reducing our clutter at home.  And that leads me to my next point which is exactly what I wanted to talk about.  How convenient, right?

In case you've been smelling smoke, I've been thinking.  Perhaps we should do a blog-giveway thingy like I've seen more popular bloggers do to unload their junk share their wealth with their readers.  Just think of it!  I give stuff away to you.  You end up having too much stuff, then you eventually, either explode from the stress of having too much clutter .. OR .. you end up ranting like an old bag lady on your blog and start doing giveways of your own.  What a racket!

Actually when I weigh the options, those all sound like risks I'm willing to take.  Because if I can get rid of a moose-lamp or a genuine-imitation-Naugahyde jogging suit, its worth it to me to risk adding to your collection of paraphernalia.  Because I'm sure you'll survive the ordeal of some clutter in your life.  What doesn't kill us usually succeeds on the second try makes us stronger right?

So you as my reader, not only benefit from my brute-force-and-ignorance-style wit but BONUS, you strengthen your character by dealing with some additional clutter in your life.  It's all good stuff, honest.  The naugahyde jogging suit is gently used and won't even be wet with sweat by the time you receive it.

So just let me know if you'd like some free stuff!  I'll send it your way!

And now I'll quietly sit by my email box, ready for those electronic letters to start pouring in :)


Heather said...

Hmm, not sure what to say here. :P
I really do have this ideal, neat, organized home in my mind's eye. Thank you for helping me and being patience while we get there.

And yes, if anybody wants lots of stuff - please holler. :)

Shaddy said...

I applaud you for your efforts to lessen the clutter in your life. I wish I could accept a large shipment of your stuff but as a friend I must draw the line. Thanks but no thanks. Your generosity is overwhelmingly overwhelming but I fear adopting your excess goods would be even more overwhelmingly overwhelming.

How's Bella? Not lost in the clutter I pray! (Actually, I know you better than that).

Rob said...

Bella is doing really well Shaddy - just came back from her 6 month appt. Can you believe its been half a YEAR already? Sheesh. And yes I realize that I owe pics on my blog :)