Freaky Factoids About Me

Like most people I occasionally hold my quirkiness at arm's length and examine it like the oddity it is. Introspection is good for you. And for those of you interested enough to trudge through this, here are some things about me that I'm turning over in my hand today while I ponder my own mysteries.

1. I have near crippling anal-retentivness. Okay maybe not. But I am super picky. I've learned to suppress a lot and shudder later, alone in a dark corner, in order to function with the rest of you aren't capable of logical organization. From keeping my desk neat and organized to arranging things neatly in cabinets at home, I enjoy an orderly world.
2. I like dogs way more than cats but I'm also a cat person too. I enjoy the fact that a cat seems to really need no one when it comes to it and I like to think of myself as that type of lone survivor. However if you get to know me, I have the loyalty and acceptance of a dog.
3. On a regular basis I dream of doing something else rather than being a computer geek. I really don't like it about myself that I relate to technology much more easily than most people. What I've always liked about computers though is there is a certain set of absolute rules you can learn and then their behavior is never a surprise. I wish people were like that ... sometimes. I'm also wise enough to see what a dull world that would be.
4. I do not like confrontation. I avoid it if possible because I'm not a person who relishes arguing. But I know that conflict isn't avoidable. Much like Mr Quigley, in the movie Quigley Down Under, I didn't say I wasn't any good at it, just never had much use for it :)
5. Going along with point #4, I hate to hurt people's feelings or realize that I've disappointed them. I will work very, very hard to re-earn your trust and forgiveness if I've wronged you. For some people this can get really annoying but the good ones stop me and say, "hey its really ok, you should shut up now" :) And I welcome that kind of forthrightness.
6. Often I feel much, much older on the inside than I am on the outside and have had numerous people tell me that some of my advice/words seem like they are from another time. Maybe I'm a vampire.
7. I played the drums years ago and still play them, albeit with just tapping my hands on things, which has gotten me in trouble with co-workers more than once.
8. I'm learning to play the electric bass guitar.
9. In grade-school/high school I was introverted before we started using that term. I had no more than one "real" friend at a time and even around them I was quiet.
10. For the most part, I don't believe that anyone truly is interested in anything I have to say or do. That doesn't stop me, I just have a hard time believing people would be interested.
11. Holding hands with point #1, I have near crippling shyness. Honest. I don't like big crowds, company get-togethers, are other large affairs. Especially when I'm made to feel like I need to "peform". So amusment parks, restarants, the movies, those are all coolio with me. Although I'm not as bad as I was in school, where I couldn't look people in the eyes, I still have a hard time making new friends.
12. For quite a few years, I was heaviy involved in martial arts and had a teacher that taught me one-on-one, all Mr. Miyagi style. I studied weapons and sword play and became pretty good at, sparring well above my "rank". For some reason with these kinds of things I have a near photographic memory so although I haven't trained in some time, I remember it all.
13. I regret not joining the military. That is the one big "had I known then what I know now" thing that if I could I'd do it over, I'd have made it my career.
14. Many years ago, I sang in a gospel group and honestly I was pretty good at it. I still sing on my 45 mile commute to work.
15. Sticking with singing/speaking, I really don't like my voice, lol I've always wished that I had one of those super-low, room filling voices.
16. In my adult life, I discovered I have a penchant for creating things with my hands and mine took the form of woodworking. I'm very proud of that hobby and the skill I've acquired. Its one of my favorite things about being "me".
17. I dream of writing a book. I have an idea jotted down/outlined and I've also done some research for it. Right now, I'm waiting for further inspiration :)
18. Sometimes I procrastinate until the feeling of "emergency" prompts me to action. But I'm also at my most creative then, feeling like ideas that I need are swirling slowly about me, like a cloud in which I only have to reach out and pluck them, effortlessly and without thought.
19. I love to read and and read and read. Sometimes I feel as if I enjoy books which are for younger than my age though.
20. My family was super-duper poor when I was growing up. Many things I couldn't have when I was little, I vowed I'd find a way to provide them to my son when I became a dad. Things like having milk in the fridge. I've done that and I'm glad. But sometimes in my life, I've went too far with giving him things and it's only been in recent years that I'm learning to find that balance.
21. I have a very dark side, thinking thoughts that are far outside what most people consider "normal" or even acceptable. I don't like the traditional standards very much and generally think they were made up to control the sheep. However I do believe in an absolute right and wrong and I do think that view of said right and wrong, comes from, the God of the Bible. I just think that what God intended the church to be has been muddied by mankind and I yearn for the truth of it all. I do not hold this belief for ALL churches though; however I do for most of them.