Wednesday, April 29, 2009

PSA: Artists UNITE! Cause you're tiny and hard to see ...

Before I officially begin this post, I'd like to say a few words. "Nitwit". "Blubber". "Oddment". "Tweak".

Thank you.

Ok but seriously - well not really but here goes anyway.

Where I work, is in a top secret location in an older part of St Charles, Missouri. It's a nice area, filled with history. It feels comfy. Barring the occasional battle with shadowy figures, it's a really decent location.

As I toddled out to lunch today however, I was surprised to find bodies littered all over the parking lot. Human bodies. Yes I'm being serious. There were no less than 20 of them.

Do I have your attention yet?

You see, the building in which I work is next to an art museum. Apparently today was "let your art nerd go outside day". So I encountered many of them scattered about. They were here, there and even more there .. heck they were darn near yon. They were everywhere.

Additionally they were in places which I quietly disagreed with them being.

Some were seated near trees, respectfully rendering the landscape in captured contemplation upon a brilliantly worked canvas.

And some ...

Had their big butts planted right in the middle of the parking lot where cars are supposed drive! What is wrong with you! Ahem.

This leads me to my public service announcement.

Please. Have your art. Hey I'm a fan! I'm fairly artsy-fartsy myself. Buy me some Mexican food, then let's go to the art museum - I'll show you artsy-fartsy. But really, I support art. I'm an art-letic supporter.

Ok I'm done. I hear the groaning.

Honestly, the folks scattered about doing their art thing did actually concern me a bit. They were hard to see. They were tiny, wee folk. You see, I've come to realize, in stark clarity after today especially that most artists are NOT big cheeseburger eatin' people like me. They are always these nearly pocket-size people. I don't begrudge them that. I could stand to be more pocket-size myself to be sure.

BUT if you ARE rather tiny... tiny to the point that a standard sized art pad looks like a banquet table in front of you... you probably should NOT park your very human posterior in the travel lanes of large pickup trucks.

So my suggestion? Artist clusters. Or Artist clustering, if you prefer.

Cyclists do a similar thing on the roadways in order to look larger, catching people's eyes and thus remaining safer. Clustering would be good for artists in parking lots too. See I'm not trying to run you off, right? I'm embracing the culture and providing helpful input from a non-participant's viewpoint :)

Perhaps you're concerned that forced-clustering would negate your creative freedom which currently enables you to flit about in places, and assume positions in those places, stretching the very definition of the term "right of way". Hmmm? Is that in fact a concern? Well I'm here to help.

Let me just remind you of the fact that you're artists. You posses a great gift of which most of us can only dream. I merely suggest you use that gift of perspective. Engage it if you will. Having done so, I think you'll agree that sitting in clusters should be fine because regardless of your angle ... your perspective of the landscape... you should be able to draw inspiration from it.

Cause if you don't do that?
If you continue to sit there in the parking lot and remain 5 feet tall and 80lbs?

Well - and keep in mind I'm more mathematician than artist - I will just say the odds aren't in your favor for a continued safe summer.

This concludes today’s public service announcement.


Jennifer said...

I LOVE this, it made me snort coffee out my nose. Very appropriate, specially since we spent yesterday at the art museum!

Shaddy said...

Perhaps folks who possess creative minds lack common sense. There's only so much room upstairs.

I feel your pain. Art is wonderful but respect for others' needs and rights are more important in the grand scheme.

I loved your commentary.

Rob said...

Glad it made ya laugh! I even began with a cultural reference to Harry Potter just for you! :P