Wandering away .. OR .. Leaving the Reservations to Others

I'm leaving for good and not coming back.  I've had enough of this.  I've had enough of living under the weight of other's perceptions.  I'm tired.  Too tired for my age and I can't keep up with this any longer.

To what am I referring?

Not blogging.  Never fear.  Though my writing of late has been sporadic to be sure, I'd keep serving up medium-rare ramblings even if there weren't readers to consume them.  And I'm truly thankful for those that do.

So dear readers you won't be abandoned .. or well .. you shall have to put up with me a bit longer - depending on your viewpoint there.

No I'm referring to eating, quite actually.

What is this Rob?  You're no longer going to eat?  Ah but that would be the ultimate weight-loss plan eh?  However, I think I'll continue to eat - and it's step one of my plan!  Brilliant yes?  I mean so much more promises to be accomplished if my plan doesn't involved self-starvation.

Given that encouraging first step, I think I'll add another to it and see where it goes.

I'm leaving the reservation of dieters, etc.  For far too long I've been enamored by the "next great thing".  I've been so caught up in the "tools" of losing weight that I end up studying them too much and not accomplishing my goals.  They end up as a mental crutch while the physical suffers.

In 2009, I didn't meet my weight loss goals.  I made strides but not nearly close enough for my critical self to call it a successfull year.  I wasn't faithful to myself.  The ultimate form of betrayal.

See I had a good plan.  But I just didn't execute it well. I didn't keep my focus unwaveringly until total success was achieved.

No more.

What shall I be doing in 2010?

Well I mentioned leaving the reservation as mentioned.  What does that mean?  Simply this.  I'm done with powders, pills, magic concoctions, thinking that some ultimate secret weapon made by someone else will help me hobble over the finish line.

Let me ask you something.

What was the last time you ever saw a champion hobble across the finish line to win a race?  A winner, someone who completes what they set out to perform doesn't depend on something else to carry them there.

They get up and do it themselves.

Yes they use tools to help them train and accomplish their goals.  But those tools don't help unless the champion has a burning desire to succeed.  The champion never looks at the tools as a crutch.  Thus they never get carried across the goal line by their tools.

So there is no magic pill.

There is no secret way.

The belief that I can do this "while I sleep" is a lie.

The reality?

It will hurt.  I will sacrifice.  There will be times I want to quit.  There will be temptations.  And on some days, I will fail.

But ...

The hurt will turn into strength.  The sacrifice will birth success.  I will go on.  When I have failures I will get up again, and again ... and again.  I will keep getting up until, sometime during this year, I will look at myself and say, "You did this.  You did it without a crutch.  Nobody carried you through this."

How will I do this?

Can't tell ya.  The last thing anybody needs is someone else telling them "another cool thing".  It just breeds what the diet industry is getting rich from.  I'm done with that.  I won't propogate that type of thinking anymore.

I've found what I know will work for me.  It's based by large amount on instincts I've had since childhood.  Yes I did stumble across a plan and happens to line up with those instincts exactly.  It's given me the final sprout of confidence I needed in order to move forward with this.

But Rob how do you know it will work?  Actually, I've seen it work in my life before but I didn't stick with it because honestly I caved to outside pressures.  I let negative external things influence my thinking.  I should have trusted my instincts.

This time I will.

Just like you've seen in the movies, where someone finally has had enough, they cut off all their ties to popular thinking and just wander off to find a new life, because they are driven by instinct to change for the better.

That's how this feels.

Here I go.

P.S. - Big news coming soon on Horton Hollow.  Stay tuned for several exciting things coming up.  Hey, things aren't exciting for me that often .. so I thought I'd milk that fact a bit by some pre-excitement tease.  :)