Rare spawn Saturday: When the Movies Come Out

Yes here I am on the weekend. As my post title implies this is a rare thing. For the next few posts I have a little plan of telling several funny stories - starring yours truly - woven around really dumb things my friends have caught me in at work. Oh yeah, I realize it's hard to believe that I'm not always Mr Cool. However if you believe I'm Mr Cool then clearly you'd never gotten to know me yet :)

Now on with our first story.

When the Movies Come Out

(The front cover of our storybook opens, the first page turns ..)

A few years back my friends Tom, Fred, Frank and I were discussing new movies that were coming out soon which we wanted to see. Although I can't really remember which movie it was that someone mentioned, I believe it was Tom, that asked, "Oh yeah when does that one come out?" It was a movie we all desperately wanted to see.

There was a pause, a palpable anticipation as we all searched for the answer. The tension mounted as each of us sensed that whosoever held the answer to that innocently posed question, took not only credit as holding the title of "Movie Guru" but the rest of would hold that other friend in high regard for all time. Clearly, the balance of power was precarious situated on the edge of knife - the slightest shift forever affecting the fate of all - by the words of one.

Emboldened I spoke with confidence that can only be born of the combination of pure ignorance and an overestimation of the importance of the situation. "C'mon guys, all movies are released on Wednesdays."

However stupid, that in and of itself wasn't so bad, however a ridiculous statement it may have been. It was what happened next that morphed my goofy answer from unusual to epic in it's proportions of wrongness.

My friends turned as one to tease me and laugh at that pathetic answer. Grabbing the only tool I had as a defense, I latched onto my Golden Shovel of Stubbornness and begin to dig myself such as hole, as to never be equaled again. Yes in my desperate attempt to know all about all things movies, I ... defended ... that ... ridiculous .. answer .. I'd .. just ... given.

Sigh.

You can imagine how the situation devolved after that. It really was the classic situation of the pack turning to consume the weak. In other words it was just us guys having fun. And to this day, whenever a movie release date is mentioned, I'm the "guru" they turn to .. not so much for a real answer .. but just to rend me again.

And no, our hero did not learn his lesson in this story. There are others to come in the following days. Tales of intrigue and subterfuge - nah dorkiness - that only yours truly can pull off.

(And the final page turns, the back cover of our storybook closes.)

The End.